The #1 Chokehold on Any Business
If you need help and you'd like to reach out to Vince personally, send an email to him directly at vince@gabrielefitness.com
Last year I hired Dax Moy. I'd just sold a company, my mom was in the thick of being very ill, and I wanted to take my consulting business to the next level. I'd had business coaches for two decades at that point. What I realized was that the thing standing between me and the next level wasn't more knowledge. It was my development as a leader and as a man.
Dax is a former British soldier who joined the army at 16, went airborne, then commando, then Special Operations as a reservist. He became the highest paid personal trainer in the UK within 18 months and stayed there for about 20 years. Then he got caught in the 2004 tsunami in Thailand with his family, spent hours in the water doing CPR and carrying bodies, and developed PTSD years later. Sleeping an hour and a half per week. None of the positive thinking material he'd built a career on helped him. So he went into neuroscience looking for an operating manual for the brain.
He calls himself a guru. Not the way people use it as an insult, but the actual Sanskrit meaning: someone who moves you from darkness toward light.
This is a conversation about identity, and it's the reason my faith went from something I'd been half in and half out of my whole life to something that's now part of who I am.
5 Key Takeaways:
- Your brain is a pattern recognition machine. It uses patterns to create predictions, predictions to create responses, and responses to shape outcomes. Anxiety from a neuroscience standpoint is just threat, and threat is a lack of prediction or a bad prediction. Stop making things up, improve the quality of your prediction, and your anxiety comes down. You don't need affirmations. You need to give your brain what it actually wants.
- Certainty does not come from out there. Most people try to get it from the economy, the president, the market, their lead flow. That's the least predictable place to look. Real certainty comes from identity. The question isn't what's going to happen. It's who am I going to be while it happens.
- Define, refine, align. Most people chase success without ever defining what the word means to them. Dax spent over two months with me on beliefs alone. Define what the thing is. Refine what it is not. Align on what it looks like when you're living it out loud. And Dax has a clearer picture of what success will never look like for him than what it will.
- Write your success definition so it's fully under your control. Mine used to be "I have a really good marriage." I can't control that. Two people are involved. Now it reads "I'm prioritizing my marriage with Vanessa and giving her love, safety, and attention without being critical and having unfair expectations." Every piece of that is mine to control.
- When you're lost, stand still, then go back to your last known location. That's military navigation and it applies to everything. Most people resist it because it feels like going backwards. Dax distinguishes ego from vanity here: ego says we shouldn't be here, let's turn around. Vanity says we've come this far, what would everyone think if we went back. A lot of gym owners stopped doing the thing that was working and never went back to find out why.
If you need help and you'd like to reach out to Vince personally, send an email to him directly at vince@gabrielefitness.com
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